Officially 22

I am 22.

I am really 22... and next year I will be 23... and the year after next year I will be 24...

I have never thought that birthday could be a dreadful thing. A few days ago, one of my colleague was complaining about having to accompany her 5 year old daughter to a birthday party at McDonald's. I have a confession. When I was 7, my parents threw me a birthday party at McDonald's. I did not remember much about the event. All I can remember was I threw a tantrum just before the party cause I thought my birthday dress was shit. I also recalled that the party host made me and a boy (who happened to be hottest boy in the entire second grade) balance a crystal ball on our foreheads whilst dancing to the music. I also remembered I got many presents and I purposely did not invite some of the kids in my class. I remembered one boy approached me and he asked me for his invitation and I cruelly said to him, "I am not inviting you because you SMELL". The poor boy cried for one hour and my teacher had to call his parents. I was a BITCH.

I did not have any more parties for my birthdays until my 17th one. Back in my home country, 17th birthday party is huge for girls. The tradition is that 17th birthday party is supposed to be the second biggest party in your life to your wedding. And I really mean it when I said "big party". Most of the girls at my school would hire a ballroom at five star hotels and invite at least 500 people. Not to mention, live performances and top quality caterers. Being the anti-consumerism, human rights activist, regular participants in debating competitions, I declined the offer of a big party. I instead opt for a yakiniku dinner with 50 of my closest friends. I remember I was really happy back then. I was loved in return by this boy. I remembered I got together with him just 10 days after my birthday. He wanted me to get engaged with me a month after we got together and he wanted me to marry him on 20 October 2010 (that would be exactly 7 years of relationship). I know this sounds really sweet except... I realized I had lost my feelings for him about a week after we got together -_-

So here I am now 22... And suddenly, birthday is not such a big deal for me anymore. Ever since I came to Melbourne, I always have friends surprising me for my birthdays. This time around, it is different and the strange thing is... I felt different as well... For the first time ever, I don't see birthday as a big deal anymore. I would usually stay awake until midnight but this time around, I fell asleep at 10.30 pm as I had to work early in the morning the next day. I put my phone on silent so that I would not be disrupted by calls and messages. And, I did the right thing. The next morning, I got messages and calls on both my mobiles... a majority of them were around midnite. Anyways, I am glad that a lot of people do remember and do care. Most of my friends had already graduated and they are all very busy with work and other affairs. Thanks for remembering guys especially my friends who are overseas :)

I do realize, however, that I started to see birthday as an unpleasant thing. I am getting older. The other day, I was screaming in my boyfriend's car. Although I have yet to see any visible signs of aging, I am seriously considering purchasing an anti-wrinkle cream... As one of the ad said, once you are in your twenties, you could be prone to the first signs of aging -_- I am being paranoid, am I? Anyways, hopefully you are not bored my rantings. I just happen to be this VERY OPINIONATED girl.

And so...

When I was younger, I have always imagined graduation as this AWESOME thing. I imagine my parents, me and my sister all crying. I imagined that I would go up a stage and a super important dude from the university will hand me over the degree and the important dude will tell me to go out there and be someone important.

As a matter of fact, I was not exactly looking forward to my graduation... I did not exactly find it as how I imagined it to be when I was younger. Some of my friends were super excited when faced with the prospect of graduation. When they received their invitation to graduate, they would be jumping in excitement and they will start reading the instructions for Graduation Day religiously as if it is some sort of a Bible.

When I received my graduation invitation, I quickly put it aside and totally forgot about it. Two days before the ceremony itself, I realised that I have lost the paper. You would not believe what happen. I actually thought that you are supposed to pick up the regalia and bring it home and then bring it home and wear it on your way to graduation ceremony -_- I got to Union House at about 1 pm wearing my jeans and jumper. I bumped into a friend who was already dressed up for the graduation ceremony. Imagine her shocked when she saw me in my casual jumper.

It was 1.30 pm and the regalia centre will shut at exactly 3 pm. Thankfully, I live just around the corner from uni. So I rushed back home, called my parents on the way and told them to get ready and be at uni ASAP. In the end, I managed to go home, get changed, wear my make up and get back to uni by 2.30 pm. I took some pictures with my family and boyfriend. My dad brought along his video camera. I personally think that he is more excited about my graduation more than I do.

This year has truly been a flower year for me, I have never exactly gotten any flowers from anyone before in my life. I got one when I was staying at the hospital, got another one for Valentine's Day and got three for my graduation. Anyways, apart from having a big feast with my family and some friends after graduation as well as getting three flower bouquets, graduation was... I don't know... I didn't really feel anything. I have heard about people crying and all during graduation but I just couldn't feel anything. I do plan to study further in the future and I guess, it's quite normal these days for people to have more than two degrees in their lives. I have a feeling that I have a few more graduations to go in my life.

And so... what I should I do now? I really don't know... As some of you may have probably heard about this again and again, an Arts degree opens many possibilities. I mean most of my friends who did Commerce, Engineering or other professional degrees know exactly what they want to do. I am honestly clueless at this stage... I do have several career paths in mind that I want to follow but yet again... I am not sure whether I have what it takes to follow those career path. I guess I am still young and I still have a long way to go. I just hope that I will be able to do well in the future.

Me in The Age

There are some rare (ahem) days when I become super vain ^_^ One of those days is TODAY. A while ago, a journalist from The Age wanted to interview for his article on international students. I was super excited when I heard the prospect of me appearing in a national media. Having your name mentioned in a national media does not exactly happen everyday.

So, in the spirit of super vanity, here's the Epicure article with mentioning of me:
http://www.theage.com.au/news/epicure/a-laminex-table-for-two/2007/07/30/1185647779909.html

I was supposed to get my picture taken for the article but since there was not enough time, my picture was not included in the article in the end :(

To me, the most captivating part of this experience is not actually the fact that my name get mentioned in a national media. It is actually how Michael described me in his article based on our conversation. He described me as a girl who "loves her food" and "never skips a meal".

As a Media graduate, I have been learning about the art of journalism for years. A significant part of my studies is focused on the object of media. Media's recent focus on the rich and famous suggest our obsession as society towards the rich and famous. It's just weird how after studying "the object of the media" for a few years now I become an "object" myself.

A little bit about my past

As I slid my final essay into the essay box at the Arts Centre, I realised that tertiary education has come to an end. These days, I find myself working two jobs to cover the cost of hiring an expensive migration agent, preparing the last bits of an event that I am helping out with as well as juggling my social life on top of all of these...

I am working at this place where my supervisor is super cool and he does not mind the employees talking to each other as long as we do our job right. These past few days, I have been sitting next to a good friend of mine who had been with me through my ups and downs. Anyways, my job is super boring as it mainly involves pressing ones and zeros. One for correct and zero for wrong. My friend's love life is kind of in a "turmoil". Because of this particular situation of hers, we can't help but we started discussing about our past relationships...

I was suddenly reminded of my past relationships... all of the ups and downs... the good times and the bad times... the boys I have dated in the past. It's really weird when I thought about the boys I have dated in the past... I just realised how each and every one of them differs to each other... especially in terms of character. I once read a Cosmopolitan article and the article said that men tend to date similar type of women in their life but women usually goes for different types of guys because they don't want to repeat the same mistake.

I see some truth in that article. Last year when I went back to my home country for holidays, I bumped into my ex. This ex of mine was the guy that at some point in my life, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. When I bumped into this ex of mine, I was shocked. He has not changed much but I think I have. I no longer looked at him the way I did. Long ago, I looked up to him with lots of admiration. Now, I look at him and I just could not understand how I once fell for this guy. I finally see why my parents were so against my relationship with him back then.

Fast forward to the future, I was ringing some friends that I have not seen in ages to persuade them to attend a friend's farewell party. Althought it seems that the people that I ring already have some other plans (which comes as no surprise as I ring them the night before the event), it was good to speak to them and see how they are doing. I realised that it is not only my life that had changed a lot within these past four years but my friends had changed a lot too. And then, in the spirit of memorabillia, I logged into my friendster account and visited profiles that I have not visited in a while.

And then I stumbled upon that profile... a profile that i had not visited for a very2 long time... a profile that I once avoided because I was too upset to see. Things have changed, I can now look at that profile and realise that I have done the right thing. I was bitter back then. I was bitter when I found out that he cheated on me with a girl (who not only according to me but according to many people) is shorter and uglier than me and not to mention her command of grammar is far worse than mine. I stayed bitter until I learnt something from my friend. I realised that I never really looked up to my ex... I just can't... despite of his good qualities, he brags about non-existent things in his life making it impossible to appreciate such person. He needed someone who would constantly flatter him and look up to him not someone who outshines him. I was no longer bitter from that point on.

I remembered his final words "You will find someone but I can't promise you that it will be someone better than me". Oh My, still the same arrogant person up until the end. Seriously dude, get over yourself. There's a reason why arrogance is one of the seven deadly sins. And as for me, I dated several guys after that failed relationship. I am currently seeing a guy right now and at the moment, he is the best for me.

Been wanting to write about this for a long time. I know that the ending of this blog sounds really mean and vengeful. But hey, freedom of expression is one of the basic rights of internet users and hey, i do keep his identity a secret. Fortunately, most of the people in my current life are either unaware or no longer aware of this person. There is a reason why my blog is titled no saints nor sinners... I am a flawed human being... As committed as I am to doing more good deeds in life, I can't help my occassional b*tchings. My previous posts have been way too nice and I do feel I need to write something... mean... once in a while.

Growing up

Last year, I was on MSN when I saw one of my friend from Korea wrote "Graduation: The Unbearable Heaviness of Growing up". The sentence struck me back then. I realised that the next semester could be my final semester at the university and perhaps my last six months in Melbourne.

Right now, I am writing the last few hundred words of my assignment. Suddenly I got a flash back of three years ago when I went for my first day at Melbourne University. I was super excited in embracing uni life. I remember sitting down at the union house with some other former Trinity College students who are planning to study Arts as well. 96,000 words, 16 oral presentations and 500 references later... this is my final step towards graduation.

I have asked this question before over and over again to some of my friends and now I could not believe that I actually have to answer this question "What will you do after graduation ?". A while ago, I was distressed because I felt that I was not ready yet in leaving this country. I did a translator test that I thought I was going to fail. In the end, I passed the test and this means I can obtain my residency in Australia.

Although things are currently looking good on the surface for me, I am facing a major dilemma. I am working two jobs at the moment and soon, I will be working three jobs. Two of these three jobs are contract and as soon as the project concludes, I will have to seek other jobs. The last job is a casual job with good pay but really little hours. For one of the projects that I am undertaking, I feel like I am not doing a good job and I secretly despise both of my project works.

I did a shift today and I felt like I was the worst performer of the day. But then, I recall my first shifts back at Hungry Jack's two years ago. I remembered I was not the best performer back then but I worked hard and in the end, I was a valuable staff member to the company. I realise:

" I know for sure that I will suck for the first few shifts... But, if I don't do this job and work hard, I will never learn. I will work hard and learn until I get it right and I will do a good job in the end"

Anyways, hopefully I will do better for my next shifts. And hopefully, I will know what I want to do and I will choose my career path wisely. My biggest fear right now is not being able to find a job or even worse, doing a job that I am not meant to do. There is nothing worse than coming to work everyday, knowing that This is not what I want to do in life.

Also, there is always the option for further studies... And there is one question that like or not, I will have to answer one day. Should I stay in Australia forever or should I go one day? When I came to this country four years ago, I missed my home country and my childhood friends badly. I did not want to leave my home country and back then, I wished I had never left. Months later, I discovered that I had fallen in love with Australia. I love the feeling of being able to walk around and take public transport without the fear of getting nabbed. The people, the food, the education system and the working conditions that are generally fairer than in Indonesia had won my heart. Above everything else, I had fallen in love with some of the people here. I just could not imagine leaving the country at the moment.

However, I am also quite reluctant to stay here. I have met many people who are struggling for jobs here and in the end, these people had to go back to their home countries. Despite of receiving the accrediation as a translator, English is still my second language and I am still far behind in comparison to native speakers of the language. I also miss my friends and family back in Indonesia. No matter how many new people I have fallen in love with, the people I grew up with will always have a special place in my heart.

"I wish that everything will be allrite for me and I wish you all the best with your future endeavours..."

To friends and family back in my hometown: I am not sure whether you will be reading this or not but I will not be able to come back home for a short while. All of you will always be in my heart no matter what and I hope I am in yours too...

David Tao

Of all the subject that I am planning to write on, I can not think of anything else to write other than David Tao. This perhaps, has mark my decline in writing quality blogs -_-

When I was in high school, I was somewhat against all Mandarin songs... the reason why was because I DID NOT UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD!!! Anyways, I went overseas to study four years ago and then, something happened to me. I WAS CONVERTED. My first housemate here is an Asian song freak... in fact she refuses to listen to anything English. And then, my other housemates are all Asian song freaks -_- As a result, I started to listen to Mandarin songs (it was not voluntarily, it was more because they are playing the music when I was there and of course I could not ask them to turn it off).

One day, my former housemate played this song called "Pu Tong Peng You" by Mr. David Tao. As soon as I heard the song, I was... CONVERTED. I just could not get the song out of my head eventhough I did not understand a single word. It was so funny, I thought the song was about a guy who just wanted to be a friend with this girl. Turned out, it was the other way around. The dude want to be with the girl but the girl just want him as a "normal friend".

Anyways, I liked some of his other songs (not all of them). Weirdy enough, most of his songs are apparently about broken hearts (my friends told me of course). The weird things is that having heard some of his songs, I never actually know how he looked like... until a few minutes ago. Driven by curiosity, I decided to find his picture using Google Image Search. My ex once told me that David Tao is a great singer but he lacks in term of looks. And I found some pictures of him..

The picture above is probably... one of the very few pictures of him where he looked... eh normal somewhat... the other ones are him with super tight shirts and sleveless tops. Maybe I am weird, but I am anti guys who wears super tight shirts and sleveless tops... and for this thing, I SHALL NEVER BE CONVERTED.

Mr. David Tao is not my type of good looking but he does have a good voice and he sings some good songs. Eventhough I will probably never watch his video clips especially video clips where he wear sleveless tops and tight shirts, I will listen to his songs. I'll be doing a certificate in mandarin next year but on the mean time, if he sings a good song no matter what it is about... I will listen to it. He can sing about poo and I will still listen to it. Beside, it's not like I will understand anything :p

Event Management 101: Finding Sponsorship

Hi everyone,

Remember the event project that made me write that previous depressing post ? Btw, before I start complaining about random things as usual, someone actually read my blog and he left a really nice comment... Thanks, stranger. That's really sweet of u :)

ANYWAYS, a few days ago, I had this super serious meeting with the other group members in the even project team. And then, we got into this serious discussion... Apparently, a supposedly major sponsor had turned us down because they do not have the resources or something like that... So after a long long discussion, it was decided that eventhough it was not originally my responsibility, I and another girl had to help out with finding sponsors -_-

Finding sponsors... is a weird thing... to be honest, I have never really done it before... I mean I remember helping out my friends finding sponsor back in Indo but my friend did most of the talking. My (definitely going to be successful one day) best buddy from my hometown decided to organise a concert. And it was not just a normal concert, he actually invited a really famous singer and people had to pay quite a lot to attend the concert. I accompanied him when he went from one company to another to request sponsorship. I was really surprised with my best buddy's negotiation skill... He gets all the sponsors that he needed... In the end, he and the other people in the management team did not earn that much money but hey, at least they still made some money.

I guess when I go back to my hometown and I would organise something, it will be much easier to find sponsors. I can always ask my dad (hohoho) and he would have the connections and then his connections would (in most cases) be more than happy to sponsor us... It's all about networking... Here, in this foreign country where my daddy basically do not know anyone, I am on my own -_-

I have started emailing some companies for sponsorship... I got all the condom and tampons companies... -_- It's kind of a weird experience going to a website for a condom brand. Most of these websites are filled with additional guides on "how to choose the best condom" or "what is the best sex position for you" or whatever... I just hope that no one will log into my computer and get the wrong idea when they go to google and find "condom australia" in the history of search >_<

When I was about to email some of the condom companies... I was thinking of how I should phrase my email so that it would not sound weird. I mean I can't write something like:

Dear Company X,

Can you please send me 1000 samples of condoms ?


-_- That sounds way too weird... Anyways, I came up with a good letter (I found a good letter template)... I have sent some emails to several companies and hopefully I will hear back from them soon... hopefully the reply will be positive. And hopefully, the team will be able to raise enough sponsorship for the event :)