A little bit about my past

As I slid my final essay into the essay box at the Arts Centre, I realised that tertiary education has come to an end. These days, I find myself working two jobs to cover the cost of hiring an expensive migration agent, preparing the last bits of an event that I am helping out with as well as juggling my social life on top of all of these...

I am working at this place where my supervisor is super cool and he does not mind the employees talking to each other as long as we do our job right. These past few days, I have been sitting next to a good friend of mine who had been with me through my ups and downs. Anyways, my job is super boring as it mainly involves pressing ones and zeros. One for correct and zero for wrong. My friend's love life is kind of in a "turmoil". Because of this particular situation of hers, we can't help but we started discussing about our past relationships...

I was suddenly reminded of my past relationships... all of the ups and downs... the good times and the bad times... the boys I have dated in the past. It's really weird when I thought about the boys I have dated in the past... I just realised how each and every one of them differs to each other... especially in terms of character. I once read a Cosmopolitan article and the article said that men tend to date similar type of women in their life but women usually goes for different types of guys because they don't want to repeat the same mistake.

I see some truth in that article. Last year when I went back to my home country for holidays, I bumped into my ex. This ex of mine was the guy that at some point in my life, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. When I bumped into this ex of mine, I was shocked. He has not changed much but I think I have. I no longer looked at him the way I did. Long ago, I looked up to him with lots of admiration. Now, I look at him and I just could not understand how I once fell for this guy. I finally see why my parents were so against my relationship with him back then.

Fast forward to the future, I was ringing some friends that I have not seen in ages to persuade them to attend a friend's farewell party. Althought it seems that the people that I ring already have some other plans (which comes as no surprise as I ring them the night before the event), it was good to speak to them and see how they are doing. I realised that it is not only my life that had changed a lot within these past four years but my friends had changed a lot too. And then, in the spirit of memorabillia, I logged into my friendster account and visited profiles that I have not visited in a while.

And then I stumbled upon that profile... a profile that i had not visited for a very2 long time... a profile that I once avoided because I was too upset to see. Things have changed, I can now look at that profile and realise that I have done the right thing. I was bitter back then. I was bitter when I found out that he cheated on me with a girl (who not only according to me but according to many people) is shorter and uglier than me and not to mention her command of grammar is far worse than mine. I stayed bitter until I learnt something from my friend. I realised that I never really looked up to my ex... I just can't... despite of his good qualities, he brags about non-existent things in his life making it impossible to appreciate such person. He needed someone who would constantly flatter him and look up to him not someone who outshines him. I was no longer bitter from that point on.

I remembered his final words "You will find someone but I can't promise you that it will be someone better than me". Oh My, still the same arrogant person up until the end. Seriously dude, get over yourself. There's a reason why arrogance is one of the seven deadly sins. And as for me, I dated several guys after that failed relationship. I am currently seeing a guy right now and at the moment, he is the best for me.

Been wanting to write about this for a long time. I know that the ending of this blog sounds really mean and vengeful. But hey, freedom of expression is one of the basic rights of internet users and hey, i do keep his identity a secret. Fortunately, most of the people in my current life are either unaware or no longer aware of this person. There is a reason why my blog is titled no saints nor sinners... I am a flawed human being... As committed as I am to doing more good deeds in life, I can't help my occassional b*tchings. My previous posts have been way too nice and I do feel I need to write something... mean... once in a while.